Single Again, Now What?
Your divorce is final and you are officially single again, now what? You probably have been asking yourself this question since finding out that your divorce is final. The answer you likely came up with was “I don’t know what do single people do?” Chances are it has been some time since you have been single and you are feeling a little apprehensive about the prospect of being “out there” on your own again, don’t worry, your feelings are normal. In the following we are going to address some of the issues or concerns that may arise during your new singleness; hopefully making the transition from married to single again easier.
Don’t Jump Into Another Relationship. For a lot of people being in a relationship, being a spouse is what defined them. The prospect of being alone and not part of that couple dynamic anymore can make some people anxious, some so much so they start to panic and are full of dread fearing the prospect of dying alone. Take a deep breath, everything will be alright. If you are missing casual companionship from the opposite sex consider entering the dating scene again. If you do decide to start dating again go slow and have fun. The last thing you need is to get involved in a serious relationship; you’re single again, you just got out of one.
Rejoice in Being Single. It might seem like being single again is a life sentence but it’s not, so take advantage of your time being single. Do those things that you would not have done when you were married. Leave the toilet seat up, throw your dirty clothes on the floor, leave a wet towel in the bathroom, watch the game in your underwear, eat dinner in front of the TV, buy a huge flat screen and hang it on the wall, the list is endless.
Guy’s Night Out. Get your friends together and pick one night a week for a guy’s night out. Do something different each week, try to come up with things that you wouldn’t usually do. Find an old car cruise-in, these are usually at a local restaurant or bar, go bowling, miniature golf, find a go-cart track, have a video game night, hit the batting cages or basketball court. Just get out with friends and enjoy being a guy. Often times in a relationship men tend to dial back the “guy” stuff as their wives many times sees it as childish. Face it, no woman wants to be married to a frat boy.
Stay Off The Computer. It’s easy to get in the habit of spending time on the computer, surfing the web, checking your Facebook, Twitter, or whatever other social media outlet you choose. Just make sure you have a time limit on your use. It is not difficult to get wrapped up and fully immersed in a video game; the next thing you know, a week has passed, you’re buried under a mountain of pizza boxes and you have the wrists and hands of an 80 year old with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. Everything in moderation, keep that mantra and you’ll do fine.
Stay Positive. Sure there will be times when you are so down and depressed that you feel like you will never get out of bed or get dressed. This too will pass. It’s natural to have these moments, but keep them just that, a moment. Whatever you do, don’t get down on yourself. Some people find it helpful to have a journal to record their feelings when they get in that funk. It’s easier to just let it out in writing, all of that self-pity, anger, hurt and blame can fill the pages of your journal and not be the stuff that fills you. After all, enjoy yourself, you’re single again!