Choosing to marry your ex again is a big decision to make.Okay, here’s a sensitive one. Your friends and family have warned you about it, (“Cautioned” isn’t really a strong enough word in this case), and the remarks are beginning to hurt. Marrying your ex doesn’t always pave the way for a failed marriage like it did the first time, but it can carry with it a few points of concern, and there are some things that you really should think about before you pop the question again.

First and foremost, understand that a cautionary remark from a friend or relative is a personal opinion that should have little if any bearing on your decision to follow through with a given course of action. The decision to marry an ex-spouse is not one that you should come to lightly. In fact, it is one that needs serious consideration, and in order to get yourself into a frame of mind where you can give it the consideration it deserves, you need to distance yourself from the people closest to you. This isn’t always easy, but it is necessary, so do it however you need to. Then you can start thinking.

One of the things that you should consider is why it didn’t work out the first time, and whether or not the chances of a strong, loving marriage will be challenged by problems that led to your divorce the first go-around. It can’t be something that you did, or that they did (it takes two to make a marriage work) but something that you both did continuously, and something, or numerous things, that neither of you would seem to compromise on. From here, you need to ask yourself if this will present a problem in the future, has the other person changed to your satisfaction, and have you changed to theirs?

Love has every right to sneak into the equation. You are, in fact, considering marrying your ex, but don’t let blind love get in the way of making a rational decision. You need to be sure that you can address your problems if and when they arise. If you can’t, you need more time to think and more time to try to resolve the issues at hand before you get involved again.

If you are confident that some miracle has made you more amenable to one another, then you can let love filter in until you can come to a conclusion, untainted by an onslaught of cautions and warnings from outside influences, about whether or not marrying your ex is the right thing to do.

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