Some people want to jump right back into the dating field after they are divorced ready to move on with their lives. Others are skeptic of dating and fearful of failing again. There are many ways to get back into dating after divorce.
It might be hard to know when the time is right, especially if you have children. You will know in your heart the right path to take. Remember to take time for yourself letting you find who you were before you were married. You have to take time to heal to be ready to allow someone back in your heart. Don’t let others force you back into the dating game. You will know when the time is right. An old piece of advice says to divide the length of your relationship by two then use that number to wait so many years before dating again. For some it works, for others it’s just not practical.
The rebound relationship is bad news. You might be feeling lonely after divorce, but don’t jump on the next dating train out of the station. Define what you want in a partner and figure out the traits that will lead to failure. You know why your marriage failed. Don’t fall for these traits again. If it’s all about physical attraction and staying on the surface level, this is a rebound. Being alone is okay. It will allow you to sort things out. Rebounding is not okay because it will only lead to more pain.
You have to throw away your baggage. It’s just bringing you down. Don’t hold on to the past. When you are dating be positive about your background and your divorce. If you speak negatively of it all of the time, your dating partner won’t ever feel at ease. They need to feel as if this is the new you and your past is gone. If you blame yourself and hold on to that heavy baggage, others around you will feel it. In order to move on, just realize everyone has baggage and it is how you handle that baggage that will help you move forward in your relationships.
When kids are involved it makes dating more challenging. Be sure this person is worthy of meeting the new partner and you are ready for the new challenge before you introduce them to your children. You are excited and might want to share this news with the world, but your children might not be ready for the news. You also don’t want children getting attached too soon if this new relationship does not work out. Talk things over with your children and always be honest about your dating.
Remember to think of the new person you are dating as an individual. They are not your ex so you don’t need to always compare them. You have to learn to trust again. You had a marriage fail, but you are being given another chance for dating success. You don’t want to scare away a potential great mate with negativity towards your ex. If you don’t let the new partner prove they can be outstanding, you are the one missing out. Your ex-spouse is your ex for a reason. You now have a clean slate. Let someone sweep you off of your feet.
Dating after divorce is new and different. Enjoy it and treat it like you have a new chance at love. Love yourself first and then love someone else. It might take time, but it will be worth it.