One of the most difficult things any marriage can face is an unfaithful spouse. Unfortunately, infidelity is more common than it should be and many relationships are ruined because of it. In fact, over fifty-percent of spouse’s will have to deal with an affair at some point in their marriage. However, that doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. If both you and your partner are willing to do whatever it takes to work through this together then it is possible for your marriage not only to survive, but possibly even thrive after an affair.
Nip it in The Bud
If your marriage has any chance of survival then the affair must stop immediately. The guilty spouse must sever all contact with the former lover. This goes beyond just ending the physical relationship; all phone calls, coffee breaks, and any other communication needs to stop immediately. If any chance encounters occur, or the former lover reaches out, then it’s imperative that the spouse who had the affair is up front and honest with their partner without having to be asked. If the spouse and the past lover work together then all communication must be strictly professional and needs to be clearly reported to the husband or wife immediately.
Put Everything on the Table
Candor is a huge part of the equation if the marriage is expected to survive. Many marriage experts agree that the relationship has a much higher chance of making it through if the adulterous spouse answers any and all questions asked by his or her partner. Secrecy will only serve to hurt your marriage further, whereas laying everything out in an open and honest way helps the partner that was cheated on to heal better emotionally and allows the relationship to reconcile more completely. If it is just swept under the rug and never discussed, then healing will never be able to occur.
Don’t Expect Healing Overnight
This goes for both spouses. The adulterous party needs to realize that the healing isn’t going to happen in a day. Their partner is going to go through an intense mix of emotions, from anger and rage to hopelessness and heartbreak. Empathy, time, patience, honesty and a lot of love are going to be pivotal in order for the marriage to survive. Expecting quick and easy forgiveness will only cause further strain on your relationship. Allowing as much time for healing as necessary is the only way it’ll actually take place.
If you and your spouse are willing to make sacrifices, compromises and don’t expect results overnight then your marriage has a shot at redemption. Although infidelity is a leading cause of divorce today and so many couples are affected by it, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker for your relationship if you both commit to working through it and coming out on the other side. With enough dedication, openness and honesty your marriage can not only survive, but with all cards laid out on the table your marriage can actually thrive.