By Kelly Greene M.Ed
Divorce is an emotional process. You may feel angry, sad, devastated, betrayed, even relieved…. The list goes on and on. The problem is that the divorce process itself needs to be seen as a legal and business decision. When you meet with your CDFA, mediator or attorney, they aren’t your counselor. You are paying them on an hourly basis to help you work through the legal, business aspects of divorce, not to counsel you. Divorce is already an expensive endeavor so why pay your attorney $300/hour to hear you voice your emotions on your ex’s bad behavior? It’s very important to get through the business part of these meetings while keeping your emotions in balance. How on earth is that possible? Here are 4 tips:
1. Hire a Therapist or Counselor. Nearly all insurance plans offer some fully covered or discounted visits with a counselor. Don’t forget to check into your company’s Employee Assistance Plan for resources as well. If you don’t have insurance reach out to some anyway. Many have very affordable rates or work on a sliding scale. Check with your local library, community center, church or temple for group sessions too.
2. Have a healthy outlet for your emotions. Exercising, hiking, walking, and marathon cleaning sessions can all help. Not sure what you like to do? Try purchasing a few Groupons to try out that yoga studio or boxing ring in your neighborhood. Join Meet Up and find a hiking or biking club. Any activity that gets your body moving and blood pumping will help immensely.
3. Surround yourself with good friends and family. Your “regular” group of friends and family may change during your divorce. That’s ok, because moving forward you want to be surrounded with only loving, supportive people. People that will let you vent the same story 100 times while pouring you another glass of wine and hugging you tight. These are good humans and you need them.
4. Make time for self-care. Meditate, take a bath, star gaze, lay in bed all day. Listen to your body and your soul right now. The more centered and balanced you can remain in those divorce business sessions, the faster the process will go, the more educated you’ll feel and the quicker you can start to heal and begin your new life!
When you’re in the right frame of mind to move forward, call us at 877-552-4017 to discuss the best options for your situation.