If you have found yourself questioning your marriage you may be wondering how to really know whether or not you should get a divorce. If you’ve been feeling unheard, unloved or are just tired of the constant fighting, you may have found yourself in the position to weigh the pros and cons of remaining in your marriage and jumping ship and heading for divorce. While there is never a clear-cut, black and white, answer to this question, there are a few things you should ask yourself and honestly answer before running to the courthouse. By answering the questions below you will give yourself a better understanding of where your relationship is headed and what your next step should be.
Are the Feelings Still There?
Many times when one, or both, partners begin contemplating a divorce they still have strong feelings for each other. It’s possible that an ongoing power struggle or constant arguing has led the couple to believe that divorce is there only option. If this is the reason you’re thinking about ending your marriage then you need to stop and think again. Do not let temporary emotions lead you to make a permanent decision. If this is the case for you then consider mediation or counseling and work on repairing your marriage.
Are You Truly Ready
A lot of times, especially in the heat of an argument, a spouse will threaten divorce. This is a defense mechanism used to get their point across or to show their partner that they’re serious that changes need to be made. The biggest problem with threatening a divorce when you don’t really want one is that you become the boy who cried wolf. It reaches a point where that threat no longer means anything. If you’re serious about getting a divorce then you have accepted the fact that you’re ready for this chapter of your life to close and you know you’ll be at peace with that.
Can You Handle Life After Divorce?
It’s important to realize that divorce means you have to physically and emotionally let go of your spouse. If you aren’t ready to deal with the anger from your children or the fact that eventually your partner will move on with someone else then you are not yet ready for a divorce. Along with watching your spouse move on, you’ll also have to be prepared for all of the emotions you’ll be facing while going through, and after, a divorce. Hurt, loss, anger, resentment and regret are all common emotions that come along with divorce. If you aren’t ready to handle all of these then you are not ready to file the paperwork to end your marriage.
While none of these are foolproof, they can help you to know whether or not you are ready for such a major, life changing, decision. Realize that getting divorced isn’t like breaking up with a boy or girlfriend, it isn’t something that can be undone the following day. Answer these questions honestly with yourself and then reevaluate your feelings.