If you’ve noticed that all you and your spouse seem to do anymore is argue, or maybe that loving feeling you once shared doesn’t seem to exist anymore, you may find yourself wondering if it’s time for a divorce. While no relationship is perfect and every couple is going to have their own personal struggles there are a few things that may be a bright neon sign signaling that you’re headed, or maybe even should be headed for a divorce. Take a look below and see if any of these apply to your marriage.
You Just Can’t Get Along
Every single couple out there has problems. No one is perfect or thinks exactly the same way so any two people that are around each other often enough are going to end up arguing at some point. Arguing isn’t a sign that you should hop in the car and head to the divorce attorney’s though and believe it or not, the severity of the argument isn’t necessarily a sure sign either. What is a sign that your marriage is headed downhill is the amount of negative interactions you have with each other. This includes the little squabbles that seem to be over nothing. Studies show that couples need to share five positive interactions for every one negative. If you’re lacking on the positive side then you may want to begin reevaluating your long-term plans for your relationship.
Severity Does Matter
I know I just said that severity isn’t necessarily a deal breaker and I meant it. However, if you’re engaging in knockdown, drag out arguments where many hurtful things are being said then you may have a problem. Especially if these awful arguments happen often. Things said out of anger, even when they aren’t true, leave lasting impressions.
Values play a big role in relationships. Sharing common ground on things like goals, hopes and dreams goes a long way towards the level of happiness you’ll experience in your life together. If you two disagree about the big things then the little things aren’t necessarily going to be enough.
Counseling Isn’t Working
If you’ve already taken the step and sought out marriage counseling and it isn’t helping then you might be in trouble. Often marriage counseling is a last resort for couples that truly want to make their relationship work. If you’ve both agreed, attended the sessions together, and put in the work suggested by the counselor and still can’t seem to get along then you may want to reconsider your relationship.
None of these are foolproof. There are exceptions to every rule and extenuating circumstances for every couple. Just because you may find your marriage in one of these situations doesn’t mean you absolutely have to throw in the towel. If both you and your spouse are really determined to make things work then you can get through anything together. However, if you are going through one or more of these problems and already considering a new life after divorce then seeking one may be the best option for you.